But there is also this: Our lover will not demand of us more than we can do, and will understand when we fall short that we have done our best. We will work out together how best to manage the love relationship, how best to satisfy each other's needs, and the extent to which we will accept compromise. And disappointment.
The challenge is this: Being honest about what we are capable of. Being honest in our self-assessment. Not tricking our lover into accepting less than is possible.
So in the end, religion being an expression of love means two things at once: First, we will want to do as much as we can. Second, it will be ok if we cannot - or simply do not - live up to the expectations set upon us, as long as we are honest with ourselves and with the Lord.
Looking forward to Shavuos.
If Love is an Expression of Religion...
ReplyDeleteMaybe instead of thinking about the aspects of religion that are similar to romance, it is worth thinking about the aspects of romance that are similar to religion. For example, just as in Judaism there is a concept of the "acceptance of the yoke of heaven," so too in romance there is a virtue in sometimes fulfilling the request of a partner even if no reason is given or the reason given is not understood.
Ah yes, but what if it is not an expression of love, but of servitude? Then we want to do as little as possible, but the master is vengeful and angry if we do too little. A pretty paradox! (But I seem to be on that end of the spectrum, actually)
ReplyDeleteDafKesher -
ReplyDeleteI think we get to choose how to fashion our religion. There's certainly plenty within the tradition to choose from. I choose love.
And I think the reason the tradition is full of these contradictory messages is that at different moments - and for different reasons - we need different images. See Zeek's comment on the yoke of Heaven. And also, because none of them needs to be absolute, and if one feels crushing and useless to a given person, s/he can drop it. I'll drop the angry vengeful God thing (most of the time).
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ReplyDelete"So in the end, religion being an expression of love means two things at once: First, we will want to do as much as we can. Second, it will be ok if we cannot - or simply do not - live up to the expectations set upon us, as long as we are honest with ourselves and with the Lord."
ReplyDeleteA nice way to look at it!
Of course we get to choose: I was just pointing out that if you love God, then he is nice to you, but you want to do as much as possible for him, and if you fear God, then he is strict and evil but your conscience can get away with alot less.
ReplyDeleteObviously different people choose their own God(s).
Yup. I just don't get why people would choose fear. Doesn't seem like a very good deal.
ReplyDelete(And btw, my God is by no means a "he.")
(of course not; but that's why it wasn't a "He").
ReplyDeleteAnd sure it does, you get to suffer without feeling betrayed, and you get to do the minimum required without feeling guilt for not doing more.